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Rambo and CoComando Part 3 (/showthread.php?tid=100369)Rambo and CoComando Part 3 - Rambo - 07-03-2014
Part 3
.....Doing Negril Broke ! and A Magic Mushroom gives birth to Rambo!!.
Before we get Back to the story, I have some inquiries about the truthfulness of some of these stories...no matter how ya see 'em..funny or stupid,tourist-like or bold...they are all verifiably TRUE......
..........we had pulled into Heartbeat Cottages because we had told Big Wheeler we would like to check out places for our NEXT trip....the owner wasant around this day, but the housekeeping staff warmly welcomed us.My wife looked around with the ladies and they settled down on one of the heart-shaped cement patios that are poured near the water on the jagged rock that makes up the cliffs of JA...Big Wheeler took off on foot somewhere, so I decided to look around the "HOOD" I walked across and down the street to a place marked with a hand-painted sign "TAYONS".I ventured in and ordered a beer from the girl behind the bar who was all of 14yrs young. She too smiled broadly as she placed the Red Stripe in front of me,,,,I reached in my pocket to find all I had left was a $5 US and three Us two-dollar bills.....
not to worry, we can get money from the room back in MoBay. later. I handed one of the 2dollar bills to the girl and told her to keep the change,
just then the BIGGEST man I had seen on the Island came into the room from the back...looked around, said something, gave the girl some money and told her goodbye and "TANKS". He turned to me and said "MY NAME IS TAYON!, AND I NEED REAL MONEY FROM YOU!...MON !" to which I replied "ITS REAL!" and proceeded to explain to him about the 2's he finally accepted the bill. I drank that one quite quickly and ordered another.....finishing those and starting to feel hungry, i walked out looking for food....heading out to the left after a few steps found myself in front of a shack called "Dino n Zolla's" EAT..........I walked into the dimly lit 2 room shack, at one end was a painted green table with a few miss-matched stools, at the other was a one burner hot plate hooked to a propane keg with a leakey-looking hose. A woman got off of the floor at that end along with a small child.She looked at me and with a broad white smile said "welcome, have a seat "Before I could reply the small child, a young boy, came over and put his tiny fist right into my "NU*S.....Oh man ,,did that help my headache,,
after the sickness passed I took her advice and sat down with watery eyes.
"I am so sorry" she said,"he's been doing that lately after he saw a tourist do it",,"DATS QUITE ALLRIGHT"...(yeah right!), could I please have some coffee? About that time a skinny-looking man walked in, kissed the woman and even kissed the "Little Asassain".....I assumed he was part of this "tribe"
and nodded to him....."Want some mushrooms?" he asked.. I thought" what the Hell do I want mushrooms with?" the omelette hat I hadn't ordered yet????
but then realizing maybe he was talking about a different "shroom I asked "How Much?"..he replied "Five Bucks!". and set the full paper plate on the table.....
I sat there thinking....no I had better not.......well they are kina small and for five bucks a plate they cant be MUCH!. so maybe a few small ones would not bother me too bad....soooooo I cleaned the smelly stuff off a couple and chewed them up with coffee and swallowed 'em. After a while I thought" I was right nothing!!!!...just then I noticed my lips and mouth were numb, in fact when I tried to talk only "gibberish came out!!!!! ..I got up and said" IM LEEBING....HEERS MONEY.".and put the 5 and the last 2 dollar on the table and walked out. Heading down the street to Hearbeat, I heard a voice behind me. I turned around and saw the "skinny man" holding a LARGE MACHETTE in his hand and while banging it on the shack wall called me a
"BUMBA-Clo*????? didn't have a clue bout that one, but I knew "CHEAP CHARLIE that he was calling out. I hollered back to "Kiss My A**" as I walked past Tayon who was standing outside his bar by now, along with half of the local neighborhood......."Mon who you think you is-Rambo only turn his back on a man with a machete and simply walk away"........not knowing what to say, and not knowing it would come out right anyway I simply waved and headed for the safety of the Red Lada and my wife, bless her heart.
Walking down a road that was moving was kina hard, but not nearly as hard as explaining to my wife what was WRONG with me,or the fact that we were broke, and we didn't know where our driver had got off to or when he would return, so we decided to go back and sit by the water....................
Rambo returns to remodel the Eat Shack ! and almost meets his maker!!!!!
...............as I walked, floated, or cruised ,,whatever you would call the motion that I was making as I walked back to Heartbeat, where I think it was that I had left my wife Bless her Heart,.. Yup!.. as I entered the gate I heard her infectious laughter, down on the patio, entertaining the housekeepers as I done with some other tourists out on the street!!!
"God! I Love this Place" she said "lets stay here!" .."but we have a very nice place thats all paid for"..I said back as I sat next to her .....one of the gals went and got me a Red Stripe that one of the guests had left, and we sat there, wondering where our driver had gotten off to???? It was getting Mid -Day so I started getting hungry my wife suggested that we look for food when we heard the Red Lada fire up, heading out to the gate our driver had returned with a young lady and wanted to know if we might stay in Negril for sunset ,as it was very beautiful,?? Not knowing what the hell had happened to last nights sunset we were looking forward to at least catching one! I explained to him, with my wife's surprised look that were we were broke, down to some weed, Rizllas and a Bic , that was it!..."NO PROBLEM MON,we SET!".........
"the owner would not be back until tomorrow, and if we would keep a low profile we could stay in one of the little huts that were there,"... one of the ladies said....."Cool" our driver said has he handed me a wad of money, "Count Out What You Need Mon" "I can get it back in MoBay-Right!" yea "NO PROBLEM MON" I said with a now sobering up grin....Good were set I thought, We only been on the island for about 24hrs. now and we have a beach home, and a cliff site as rental property......we have made a personal loan,,,, and have established credit.. and I have a Pissed-off shop keeper laying low in the bush waiting ti dis-embowel me as we go strolling outside. We go out another way to the road which brings us out past the battle area.. and go into a place called "Jenny's Famous Cakes" in the cute display case facing the street are samples of the Bill of Fare....strange looking dark brown cake and other things????. We sit on more wiggly stools and order fried chicken and water,lots of water! The food came and was GREAT!! I told my wife about the little crazy man and what had happened....she sat there and said "Maybe you were wrong" "WHAT" I said, "ME" I paid 7 bucks for 1 cup of coffee that took for ever, and had a few mushrooms that were covered in cow crap, HOW CAN I BE at FAULT?????. Little did we know at the same time the crazy little man was hearing the same thing from his wife.
We decided that when we were done, because of the large amount of people now around in the area, a killing might be avoided with all these witnesses
that we would stop back in the cafe? or whatever it is.
I was a BIG guy, 6 ft 4 275lbs, ex-cop...but really went out of my way to avoid fights, they hurt, even if you win , they hurt!...
Talk about a LOOK!, that look the crazy little man gave me as we walked in and sat down ran a chill down my back....My wife spoke.."I think maybe a miss-understanding has taken place" here,, the woman with the "little assassin" spoke and said " I be-tellin Dino here da same ting Mon".."your man looks like honest person, my man honest also...." I told him after he left and he settled down ."He's gonna be back, and youse gonna be GOOD FRIENDS, I feet it deep inside".... that all that had happened was a BIG MIS UNDERSTAND".......
Well as it turned out she was right, that trip and for a couple of trips later we spent a lot of time in that little shack, drinking,smoking, eating and just becoming good friends. We even paid so he could put a floor down in the cafe
and helped paint the place, we really remodeled that place with better stools and tips on how to get more customers in and keep them coming back..Turned out that he was a former Kingston Gang member and was trying hard to get and STAY straight.............hope he's OK now????
Anyway after eating, and setting a while,talking to our new friends we decided to head back to Heartbeat and relax with a swim and nap..........
My wife Bless her Heart, ate a little of the "cake" that we had brought from Jenny and I lit up a spliff and laid back in the sun....the waves hitting the shore, along with all that was in my system made for a warm,cozy, home-at-last feeling......Waking up, I felt HOT,... that sun was intense, I hopped over to a outdoor shower, heck that was even HOT..SWIM TIME I thought,...I asked my wife ,or tried to ask my wife if she wanted to get in..but the cake had taken its toll on her.. so I covered her up with towels from the hut, took of my shoes and jumped in.......NICE.......COOLING.....BLUE CLEAR WATER.
I swam around a bit and after a while, decided it was time to get out.....
Hmmmmmmm get out, yea get out,, that would be good ,how?? I swam over to one side and saw a rickety pipe ladder coming down, the waves were driving me into the cliff wall a little too rough for my liking so I decided I would make a grab for the rung which was too hight to reach normally, so thinking if I can get more speed up, with the wave I will be able to grab it, so I swam OUT a BIT!! timed my strokes to speed me into the wave, which I DID1 ...I was happy as the rung came into my reach,,,closer an closer it came....then I was going up too HIGH NOW!!!!! BAM I hit the wall and ladder and all the SHARP SEA URCHINS that were sunning in the cliff holes......I had spines in my face, hands, chest and forearms......and about that time i got washed off again!!....to heck with this I thought I'll just climb up ,,to hell with the ladder.... I made it up and just as I got to the top and was standing on some smooth cement that had been poured there, i turned and looked toward the sea that I had just escaped. smirking,,,,,I started to slip and fall back into the water head first!!!! not wanting to do that I managed to get my feet under me as I hit the water....the wave went out,,,,I went down....down...down right onto a coral out cropping, my right arch of my bare foot impaled itself about 2 inches.....onto the point of coral............... "OWEEEEEEEEEEEE" was heard all the way to Fair Flakes... Now what,?? not knowing what hit me or what did I hit, looking down I could see the blood slowly mixing with the water and decided it was time to stop the swimming portion of todays activities,, and again I climbed back out, over MORE Sea Urchins, this is getting easy I thought as I climbed up the cliff wall spilling blood from my foot as I went. Sitting down next to my wife and finally getting her awake she looked strangely at the little black dots that coverer-ed my chest,face, and arms, turning her gaze toward the lower part of my body saw the blood on the rocks and said "WHATS THAT" ???? "BLOOD" I replied, ..."WHO BLOOD?????",,,,she quizzed "MY BLOOD" ......I again replied....she slowly lifted her head, looked up and asked "YOU OK ????,,,,,,,HONEY"??????... I took a deep breath and said "Yes dear, lie back down"..........just then one of the cleaning gals came down to warn us of the slippery rocks?????????????..................
"We go to Yellow Man and save a life!!!!!!! and...........
Rambo and Co-Comando become "Blockade Runners"
more ???????
RE: Rambo and CoComando Part 3 - 2nutz4travel - 07-03-2014
Hell yes! This is too much fun for you to stop now!
RE: Rambo and CoComando Part 3 - Rambo - 07-03-2014
thanks....Ok I will do that soon...........
RE: Rambo and CoComando Part 3 - kylake - 07-03-2014
Totally into this report, I have never read. Please continue!
RE: Rambo and CoComando Part 3 - Schuttzie - 07-04-2014
HAHA, Yes, more please!!
RE: Rambo and CoComando Part 3 - rootswoman - 07-05-2014
well you certainly can't stop now!
RE: Rambo and CoComando Part 3 - Rambo - 07-05-2014
(07-05-2014, 12:13 PM)rootswoman Wrote: well you certainly can't stop now!Ha Ha...no I think I got one or two more yet, glad you are enjoying it....
RE: Rambo and CoComando Part 3 - suzengrace - 07-06-2014
I 'm addicted to your story...more please
RE: Rambo and CoComando Part 3 - Yamangurl - 07-07-2014
Thanks Rambo - I printed the three parts I will read on the plane to Jamaica soon-way to get my is;and vibe started!